Because You Loved Me

When my sister broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years, her goal was not to sulk about it. And she did a pretty good job at it because people kept coming by her and telling her she looked really happy. So when Franklin(fake name) told me that after I decided to be officially over with that other guy I've mentioned all throughout this it felt great. It made me look back and see how much trouble he really caused me. And while I was at a fundraiser the other night, I went over to say hi to one of my old teachers. She had switched to a new school and couldn't be happier, and the one thing she told me is " If you're not happy with something in your life, you have to change it." Now looking back, I remember having all the doubts from like month 4. now its month 18? since I met him and I can finally say I'm happy I'm done. I stuck with it because he was so confident and I had that one bit of hope deep down. But deep down I also knew it was never going to work out.

Now, even though I'm struggling with flirting with boys and keeping grades up and remaining confident with myself, I know it was the right thing. His texts are finally gone from my phone, name is without a heart, and no longer friends on facebook. I should've done that back in the summer when I was doubting him because I had a feeling he was with the girl who he's with know. LESSON LEARNED: ALWAYS trust your gut feeling. Don't ignore it, because you'll only regret it later.

This seems like a depressing post, but honestly its not. Its me sharing with others what I've learned over the last year and a half. But I'm not expecting people to listen because if you love someone the way I loved him, you have to experience everything yourself. You'll take into consideration the things other people say, but in reality you're going to follow your heart and stay with him (or her). Live your own life, make your own mistakes. They'll make up the memories you'll share looking back, the good and the bad, the glamorous and the ugly. Because he loved me I know more about myself today than I ever imagined. And I know the next boy I fall in love with will teach me more and more every day.
Postsecret is calling me, so I'm going to go read the ups and downs that others have lived. xxoo

The Inbetween

"The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference."

I don't know who said that, nor do I really agree with it. Though now that I think about it more, it does make more sense. But how are you supposed to judge if you have no feelings about someone? Most of us have a certain feeling about someone the second we meet them, but indifference would mean that you have no feelings whatsoever, right? Or is it just you don't have any opinion of anything to do with that certain person. Which in my mind is hard to believe because once you love someone they may break your heart, but if they were to suddenly die, you wouldn't just completely disregard it. Whether you're sad or angry that still isn't indifference.

This is partially me just going on and on, considering I haven't really read what I'm writing and probably contradicted myself multiple times. But I'll fix it later. xox