I actually have no words for how I feel right now. I can't listen to one of my friends say Connor was a deuche to me and then say that he's her friend and that he's with this other girl now and they're adorable. WHAT THE FUCK. Don't talk to me about him. He tore my world apart and what happened after him and because of him tore it apart even more. If he hadn't done what he did, I have no doubt I wouldn't have herpes right now. Well maybe a little but most likely not.
It's not fucking fair.
It's not fucking fair that she gets to be treated well by him after she tried to hide him from everyone. Who does that. Why can't everyone be fucking nice and normal and not assholes and bitches and the world would be a much happier place.
Because that would be being intelligent, which Connor certainly isn't, he's smart, but not with anything other than school. For all I know, he is autistic because that would explain why he is good with sheer facts and music. It makes almost TOO much sense not to be true.
To Connor even though I know you'll NEVER read this:
Fuck you. I said that to one other guy before and he was my best friend but I mean this in a TOTALLY different way.
You hurt me literally like NO ONE has before. I'd rather talk to the fucking guy who gave me herpes than talk to you again. Because you're not innocent, you're not nice, and you're sure as hell not a man if you can't tell me that you're moving on to my FACE. AAAAFTER telling me that you know that I'm not a hook up girl. And drawing a heart on my sock. GO. A-W-A-Y. I really mean it. I really don't ever want to see you again.
Like as much as I was hurt when I saw Ricky after we stopped talking, BECAUSE OF YOU, you hurt me more. Which I shouldn't have allowed. But you did.
So for that I say it again.
FUCK YOU.
