Resiliency

Kids are magical because they are resilient. They can bounce back from so many varieties of situations and continue on their lives with out recalling the unhappiness on a regular basis. Their memories aren't capable of reflecting on the pain at one time after a while. As adults, we make ourselves crack. We hold on to those little things. We struggle to let  go of those painful things to move on to the next thing, holding back until we know it will not hurt. I thought I had my good judgement, I thought I had trusted the right person and could tell that he felt the same. Until he didn't. And then I didn't just crack, I blew up like a helium balloon. It took a month and an adult juice box for me to bounce back. 

I still don't have all the answers I want. I don't know how he "failed" me. I don't know if that means he never had any intentions of becoming close to me, regardless of what he said all the time. Or if he meant what he said before and then he didn't mean to make me feel so friendzoned. I don't know and I'm not sure I'll ever know.

I do know that I was hoping it was the second. I was hoping that he was going to surprise me with a big gesture once he got up here... and he is now. Yet he hasn't said a word. 

So here's to resiliency. The reason I work with kids. The reason I know I will find someone to love eventually and if not, I'll buy lots of dogs.