It's been a while...

It's been a while since I've written in this. But I'm stuck. I can't tell my feelings about Zach. I can't tell if I actually really do care about him and just go into self-protection mode and thats why all of these problems come up or if they're legitimate problems. I can't tell if I really want him next to me all the time, but I think I do. Which just makes him not responding worse. So Zach, if you happen to be reading this, let me know. Because my level of anxiety on talking to you is so high I feel like I just woke up. But at the same time I feel like crap and I really just want to sleep but I cant and I'm just so burned out I don't want to go to school and UGH. I wish Rob was more like Zach because Rob is still one of my favorite people.