the one deadly sin

Honestly, I haven't even really thought about the 6 other sins. But I can say that jealousy is a vicious one. I was so jealous of Gen's friendships and her relationships but I realized after this weekend, there's no need to be. Yeah I made a lot of friends by making out with them but that's just me. And it felt so good to be me after not being me for 2 months. I'm back to normal, almost. It's funny how that one thing can push you so far away from yourself and cause such chaos in your life without you knowing. And I'm finally starting to get over Connor fully too, and get over what he did to me.

It feels good. But it's scary how jealous can drive someone to hate someone else they don't even know, simply because they have what you want. It's also scary how easy it is to lose someone in your life and they can just coexist with you. Not necessarily peacefully... but enough.

And its funny which guys are the nice guys. The ones who get you countless cups of water when your night is coming to an end to make sure you're not hungover. I just wish I knew how to not break those guys' hearts. Because those are the good ones you'll always want to be your friend.

All in all, it feels great to be on my path again. It's terrifying how far off I was. I just need to remember that when I'm home so I don't fall into that trap again. I love my life, my life is worth loving. And I need to never forget that.