You are

my person. You, are my person. You are the one I didn't even know I needed. But now I need you more than ever. I need you to help me put me back together. And I know its a lot to ask of you after all that I put you through but I need you. I can't do this myself. And it scares the shit out of me because I've never willingly depended on someone so much. But if it's not going to be you I can honestly say I don't now how far I'll go before I let someone else help. I'm at the bottom more than you could imagine and I don't know how to go up because everything seems to be pushing me down.

It's a challenge. And I hope you accept. Because I never ever would've thought that you would've been this person for me. You are. It's not something anyone else could help me with, I've tried trust me. And I tried to do it without you, but that didn't work either.

I don't know if you realize how messed up I am right now. Or how much you sitting there watching me cry saying we never stopped being friends meant to me. Or hearing that you thought about me a lot. I really thought I was dead to you. After all, I really deserve to be. But for some god forsaken reason you were still willing to watch out for me and be there for me. When I need you most. Which is now.

It might seem like I'm happy but I'm not. After we talked was the first time in three months I've felt anything close to my normal me. And this probably seems overdramatic but it's not. It's just honest. Just like the rest of this. It's not easy for me to admit that I need you. If it were up to me I'd be doing this all on my own and being stubborn to no end and being independent but I've learned I can't. I know you're probably not ready for me full force but I need you to be because theres so much more I couldn't even form the words to say to you at Starbucks. I just didn't know how much you meant to me. Or how messed up my life really is right now. And I just want to know for sure that you'll be in it for the long run. And that you'll help me. Because I really can't go through not having you to talk to again. 

All in all, this might be a little dramatic. But actually no, because I've felt this way now for a while. And it sucks. Its just like Emily said, its hard to wake up the next day knowing that its going to suck more than the next. But I'm optimistic. I hope for the best and prepare for the worst. And your hug was the best.