i dont want to mope. thats really the last thing i want to do. but right now, when i have my friends telling me that they're having sex with a guy after a romantic dinner and i realize i can't do that.
i dont even know what to say. i want to be back with ricky in the way that i can go to him when i need a giant hug. but i know that i want to also cross that line with him sometimes. something about having herpes really fucks with your head. and i know there are all of those websites of people saying how herpes changed their lives and made them live better. but i was being good. this one time i got too drunk and the guy had a COLD SORE in his mouth and i end up with this shit.
and i've had endless car problems, endless friend problems, and endless boy problems. along with school and family and sisters and coordination issues. it fucking sucks.
i just want to sit with a bottle of alcohol in a corner in front of a tv for hours and hours on end. thats all
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