I'm at a complete lack of where to start. I honestly would rather be writing this but I just don't have anywhere to do that right now. I'm hungry, absolutely exhausted, and have so much work and need to go to the gym. But I don't want to do anything other than go to bed. I know part of that is because I am actually tired, I didn't sleep a whole lot last night and didn't nap today. But regardless of that, I also know that theres something else wrong. I can feel it. I think its my birth control and that I need to change it because I feel out of control. I feel like I can't be fully happy, which is how I started feeling before my period; so back to the doctor I go. We'll have to see if the women's health center is any more helpful than this last lady.
So besides my self-diagnosis of being depressed, theres a lot of other stuff going on in my head. And its going to be hard to get out because I also really have to go to the bathroom right now.
We can start with Zach. Because obviously he's the most troubling. I've known he was trouble for the beginning but I wasn't too worried. Now I'm past worried and kind of wish I hadn't talked to him after Rob. But he was the one I wanted to talk to after I slept with that other guy so I'm not sure what that means. And, I love what we have when he's here. but the bottom line is, he's not here. And when he's not here, I think a LOT. Granted I have gotten better at sorting out what are actually my thoughts and what are my brain making me think stupid things are. but im having a hard time ignoring all the "excessive" thoughts.
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